So Disney Bought Marvel.

Illustration by Khary Randolph.

I originally planned to write this big exploratory article on what's going on and my guesses about the future, but I lost the zest for it. Instead, I give you this:





Marvel sold out! Sellouts! Fuck them up their asses!

Anyone out there with this argument who says they wouldn't sell their business for $4 billion dollars, no matter what or how dear it is to them, is a liar. Plain and simple, you're lying.


The comics are all going to be ruined and watered down and have fucking Donald Duck and Goofy join the X-Men!

This is just stupid. If the acquisition hadn't been made so public on the internet, no one would have even noticed. Disney owns a shitload of other companies, Miramax and ABC included. Both of which release tons and tons of adult-oriented material. Disney didn't buy Marvel to fuck with it's shit, they bought Marvel for the rights to the characters. The intention here being to make ADDITIONAL content to appeal to 8 - 18 year old boys. So more cartoons, action figures, pajamas, whatever. The comics, I'm sure, will remain unchanged.


What about Marvel Comics Island in Universal Studio's Islands of Adventure Park?

Hey, a decent question! From Examiner.com: "According to the Orlando Sentinel, Universal Studios will retain control of all Marvel attractions inside Islands of Adventure, including the popular Incredible Hulk roller coaster and the Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man 3-D ride. Moreover, no theme park east of the Mississippi River will be allowed to build attractions based on the Marvel characters featured in the existing Islands of Adventure rides.". So Marvel stays intact at Islands of Adventure. However, Since the deal with Universal is only good east of the Mississippi River, I wouldn't be surprised if California sees a complete Marvel theme park eventually.


There you have it. The comics stay the same, the theme park stays the same, and there will be some new cartoons. So nerds, quit your god damn bitching.