For the first time in longer than I can remember, there are a ton of movies coming to US theaters that I want to see! This last stretch of 2009 is ripe with entertainment; so I've put together a little guide for you in order of release. You're welcome.
Funny People
I don't normally like Adam Sandler, but I trust Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen.
Cold Souls
I'm so excited this movie is actually being released. I remember reading about it when it premiered at Sundance, and I am super stoked to finally see it.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Yes, this movie looks god damn awful. It's a movie based on a cartoon that is two decades old and existed only to function as half hour toy commercials, what did you expect? However nostalgia and Ray Park as Snake Eyes are enough to get my ass in a seat.
Paper Heart
From the trailer alone I can tell you that this movie might be a contender for my Top 10 Movies of All Time (which is actually more like 50...).
District 9
I don't know if I'll be able to deal with all the awesome Sci Fi movies coming out this year.
I Sell the Dead
Ron Pearlman.
Ponyo
New Hayao Myazaki movie, and unsurprisingly it looks incredible.
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Hollywood bastardization of one of the best novels I've ever read, but that's a different article.
Inglorious Basterds
"In Nazi-occupied France during World War II, a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis." By Quentin Tarantino.
Halloween 2
Oh Danielle Harris, please survive again!
Gamer
And the Sci Fi hits just keep coming!
9
Will definitely see this opening night.
Jenifer's Body
New Diablo Cody penned movie, definitely pumped about it.
Pandorum
A Sci Fi thriller starring Ben Foster, one of my favorite actors!
Surrogates
Seriously, is this the season of science fiction, or what?
Whip It!
Two things I love: roller derby, and Ellen Page. Together!
Zombieland
Bill Murray is a zombie in this movie according to imdb, and that is all I need to know.
The Road
I love anything post-apocalyptic. (Note to self: finish reading the book before this comes out!)
Where the Wild Things Are
If the movie itself is even half as good as the trailer, it's probably going to be the best movie I see this year.
Astro Boy
Classic!
Ninja Assassin
This movie is called Ninja Assassin. It is about a ninja assassin. This is relevant to my interests.
Avatar
There isn't a real trailer for this yet, but it's supposed to be groundbreaking and 3D and super fantastic!
Sherlock Holmes
Oh come on, this looks bad-ass, don't pretend it doesn't.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
"The Princess and the Frog", or "Bullshit Attempt at Pandering, and Intellectual Theft"
It goes without saying that this movie is going to be a steaming pile of dogshit. Gone are Disney's glory days, and it's completely mind boggling to me why they would even consider wandering back into hand-drawn animation after how badly they failed at it in the end, before ultimately calling it quits on 2D films altogether.
Unfortunately for film goers, Disney fans, children, and all sentient life really, Disney decided to jump back in, with a urbanfied and slightly twisted take on the story of the frog prince.
I'm sure the film will be rife with ridiculous cultural stereotyping, in the vein of Disney's own The Proud Family - remember that show? Because it aired for 3 seasons, and managed to make even my iron stomach turn.
I'm typically the last person in line to complain about character stereotyping in fiction, and the first to rolls my eyes at those who will decry such works as offense. This isn't because I'm insensitive, it's because I have the sense to realize that prejudice, stereotypes, racism, male chauvinism, all these things are ideas. Fighting against these things is the same as the "War on Terror" - it's nonsense. All of these things have existed since we evolved enough to conceptualize how to hate each other, and these things will all continue to exist until we end up eventually destroying our entire species. I'm not saying these things are right, or just, or fair, I'm saying that people should spend more of their lives focusing on making themselves happy than getting offended over stupid shit you or I will ever be able to stop or control.
Stepping off the soapbox and back on topic, the proud family was both a circus of pointed and obnoxious stereotypical behavior, and Carlos Mencia was a regular on the voice cast. For those who aren't familiar or don't remember, here's a clip:
Lookit them chicken and waffles dad is about to NOM down at 0:14! Look at how thugnificent all the characters are, except the nerdy ginger girl with glasses and braces! Hilarious!
This shitfest was the pinnacle of Disney trying to capture a black target audience, and with the facts about The Princess and the Frog, it seems pretty obvious we're going to be taken on a similar journey. Disney has the capability to tell a compelling, visually interesting story about non-white people using stories from other countries (Mulan) so why not do something similar here if the color of the female protagonist is the linchpin of the story? It's poorly thought out, and just hand feeding the ignorant masses their willingly mindless soup for an hour and a half.
With all that said, none of it is what really bothers me about this flick. The real issue lies in the blatant intellectual theft from Don Bluth.
Yes, Don Bluth. Allow me to drop some knowledge for those who may not know. Don Bluth was once a Disney animator. Unhappy with the direction the quality of the films was going at the time, Bluth raised a fist to the sky and cried "Nay! I shall not stand for these trite films, patronizing the intelligence of our audiences! I will start my own animation studio, and make art, and it shall be good!". And it was good. The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, The Land Before Time, and All Dogs Go to Heaven (my personal favorite) are all Don Bluth classics.
For those unfamiliar, All Dogs Go to Heaven takes place in New Orleans, and is an epic tale of redemption following the exploits of selfish gambling hall co-owner Charlie B. Barkin after he gets murdered, comes back to earth from heaven, and meets a little girl with the innate ability to communicate with animals. Along the way we have some laughs and adventures, and make some new friends. One of those friends is the wildly flamboyant King Gator, seen below.
A huge singing New Orleans alligator! Always a good time. Now let's look at a character in The Princess and the Frog, Louis, who is seen briefly in the video below.
Boy does he look familiar!
That sure is some coincidence, how everything about the character is exactly the same except he is more Dumb and Dumber than Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Hopefully the film will tank and Disney will wise up and either quit 2D animation for good, or start making decent films again. Luckily for Disney they'll live on regardless, piggybacking on our nostalgia and better studios PIXAR and Ghibli.
Unfortunately for film goers, Disney fans, children, and all sentient life really, Disney decided to jump back in, with a urbanfied and slightly twisted take on the story of the frog prince.
I'm sure the film will be rife with ridiculous cultural stereotyping, in the vein of Disney's own The Proud Family - remember that show? Because it aired for 3 seasons, and managed to make even my iron stomach turn.
I'm typically the last person in line to complain about character stereotyping in fiction, and the first to rolls my eyes at those who will decry such works as offense. This isn't because I'm insensitive, it's because I have the sense to realize that prejudice, stereotypes, racism, male chauvinism, all these things are ideas. Fighting against these things is the same as the "War on Terror" - it's nonsense. All of these things have existed since we evolved enough to conceptualize how to hate each other, and these things will all continue to exist until we end up eventually destroying our entire species. I'm not saying these things are right, or just, or fair, I'm saying that people should spend more of their lives focusing on making themselves happy than getting offended over stupid shit you or I will ever be able to stop or control.
Stepping off the soapbox and back on topic, the proud family was both a circus of pointed and obnoxious stereotypical behavior, and Carlos Mencia was a regular on the voice cast. For those who aren't familiar or don't remember, here's a clip:
Lookit them chicken and waffles dad is about to NOM down at 0:14! Look at how thugnificent all the characters are, except the nerdy ginger girl with glasses and braces! Hilarious!
This shitfest was the pinnacle of Disney trying to capture a black target audience, and with the facts about The Princess and the Frog, it seems pretty obvious we're going to be taken on a similar journey. Disney has the capability to tell a compelling, visually interesting story about non-white people using stories from other countries (Mulan) so why not do something similar here if the color of the female protagonist is the linchpin of the story? It's poorly thought out, and just hand feeding the ignorant masses their willingly mindless soup for an hour and a half.
With all that said, none of it is what really bothers me about this flick. The real issue lies in the blatant intellectual theft from Don Bluth.
Yes, Don Bluth. Allow me to drop some knowledge for those who may not know. Don Bluth was once a Disney animator. Unhappy with the direction the quality of the films was going at the time, Bluth raised a fist to the sky and cried "Nay! I shall not stand for these trite films, patronizing the intelligence of our audiences! I will start my own animation studio, and make art, and it shall be good!". And it was good. The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, The Land Before Time, and All Dogs Go to Heaven (my personal favorite) are all Don Bluth classics.
For those unfamiliar, All Dogs Go to Heaven takes place in New Orleans, and is an epic tale of redemption following the exploits of selfish gambling hall co-owner Charlie B. Barkin after he gets murdered, comes back to earth from heaven, and meets a little girl with the innate ability to communicate with animals. Along the way we have some laughs and adventures, and make some new friends. One of those friends is the wildly flamboyant King Gator, seen below.
A huge singing New Orleans alligator! Always a good time. Now let's look at a character in The Princess and the Frog, Louis, who is seen briefly in the video below.
Boy does he look familiar!
That sure is some coincidence, how everything about the character is exactly the same except he is more Dumb and Dumber than Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Hopefully the film will tank and Disney will wise up and either quit 2D animation for good, or start making decent films again. Luckily for Disney they'll live on regardless, piggybacking on our nostalgia and better studios PIXAR and Ghibli.
Iiiiiiiiiit's been...
...one month since I posted in my blog!
I would promise to update more often, but I probably won't, and no one reads this anyway!
I've been playing Fallout 3, for real, finally. If my character in that game is any kind of reflection of my true nature, then it scares me. Playing that game I sometimes feel as though I am staring into the dark true heart of human nature, and it is a devilish thing.
I have been reading Wicked Plants: The Weed That Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Botanical Atrocities. Nature is far more terrifying to me now than it had even been previously, just full of bears and whatnot. Thanks, book.
I am working on some literary type things, one of which may or may not begin to hit the internet soon, probably depending completely on a whim at the time.
It seems a ant has made it's way into my tea. Foolish ant, you don't belong in there!
Auto-tune the News is easily one of the most brilliant things I've seen on the internet in a long time:
Also these same gentlemen (The Gregory Brothers) make non-jokey music that is absolutely fantastic, and can be heard here.
-b.
I would promise to update more often, but I probably won't, and no one reads this anyway!
I've been playing Fallout 3, for real, finally. If my character in that game is any kind of reflection of my true nature, then it scares me. Playing that game I sometimes feel as though I am staring into the dark true heart of human nature, and it is a devilish thing.
I have been reading Wicked Plants: The Weed That Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Botanical Atrocities. Nature is far more terrifying to me now than it had even been previously, just full of bears and whatnot. Thanks, book.
I am working on some literary type things, one of which may or may not begin to hit the internet soon, probably depending completely on a whim at the time.
It seems a ant has made it's way into my tea. Foolish ant, you don't belong in there!
Auto-tune the News is easily one of the most brilliant things I've seen on the internet in a long time:
Also these same gentlemen (The Gregory Brothers) make non-jokey music that is absolutely fantastic, and can be heard here.
-b.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
What's going on here!
Clearly I have not made good to keep up with regular updates, but hopefully this large one will make up for it.
Things are good post move, though I sorely miss my friends in the west part of the state. I have however been getting a lot of work done, and have some pretty exciting projects in the works, that I will elaborate on in the future.
Here are some things I've been way into recently:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Joss Whedon's long-running vampire masterwork. I have been watching a few episodes a day for the last week(ish).
Kashi GOLEAN Crunchy! Bars
I have been jammin' on these delicious bars for lunch recently, and I find them highly satisfactory, both in taste and energy provided. The Cinnamon Coffee Cake bar is especially incredible.
Function: Drinks
These are like Vitamin Water, only significantly better. I am a Vitamin Water fan don't get me wrong, but these drinks contain massive benefits you can feel, and are also insanely tasty.
Pomegranates - Everybody, Come Outside!
I have listened to this new record by art-rockers Pomegranates for a few weeks now over and over. It is a good soundtrack for everything. Also of note: it is a concept album about a guy who is kidnapped by a time traveler while swimming across the ocean.
That's all I've got for now. Happy Tuesday, internet.
Things are good post move, though I sorely miss my friends in the west part of the state. I have however been getting a lot of work done, and have some pretty exciting projects in the works, that I will elaborate on in the future.
Here are some things I've been way into recently:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Joss Whedon's long-running vampire masterwork. I have been watching a few episodes a day for the last week(ish).
Kashi GOLEAN Crunchy! Bars
I have been jammin' on these delicious bars for lunch recently, and I find them highly satisfactory, both in taste and energy provided. The Cinnamon Coffee Cake bar is especially incredible.
Function: Drinks
These are like Vitamin Water, only significantly better. I am a Vitamin Water fan don't get me wrong, but these drinks contain massive benefits you can feel, and are also insanely tasty.
Pomegranates - Everybody, Come Outside!
I have listened to this new record by art-rockers Pomegranates for a few weeks now over and over. It is a good soundtrack for everything. Also of note: it is a concept album about a guy who is kidnapped by a time traveler while swimming across the ocean.
That's all I've got for now. Happy Tuesday, internet.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Mega Insane Crazy Happy Fun Time Update!
Well Hello. It's been a while.
The primary reason for my absence is that I did indeed decided to move to Gainesville, FL. I now reside in a home downtown with my lovely girlfriend! Moving had been a soul destroying experience in and of itself, though. We still don't have everything unpacked and set up. THERE IS SO MUCH STUFF. It went without a hitch though, all things considered. I drove the U-Haul here with great success and no collisions/property damage to speak of. The city is nice so far, the little bit of it I've been out and about in, and we're only two blocks from downtown, which is a good place to be when your feet are your primary mode of transportation. So in conclusion, the move went smoothly and I'm glad to be here.
I have however seen some movies and such recently I feel compelled to share my opinions on with you, the vast and unruly internet. GO!
Mutant Chronicles.
a independently produced sci-fi action romp, based on a tabletop roleplaying game, with Ron Pearlman in a lead role. This appeals to me on so many levels out of the gate, I figured it either had to be: enormously disappointing, or insanely amazing. (un?)Fortunately it was neither, but it was a fully satisfactory flick. The movie takes place in 2707, and the world is run by 4 corporations, who are all, unsurprisingly, at war with one another. During a firefight between two of these corporations a seal is broken over an alien machine that was centuries buried in the earth, thats single purpose was to convert dead and dying humans into human-killing mutant deviants. An order of monks is in place to protect humanity led by Brother Samuel (Ron Pearlman) who, according to the "Chronicles", has to assemble a small elite team to go into the pit where the machine is and destroy it. From here the movie takes fairly standard action movie queues through till the end, with the team itself comprised of a veritable who's who of racial movie stereotypes. We have (in no particular order): The Lone Wolf Anti-Hero (Thomas Jane, doing his best Bruce Willis impersonation), The Comic-Relief Latino (Luis Echegaray), The Heart of Gold Black Guy Who Also Dies First (Pras), The Badass Asians (Devon Aoki and Tom Wu, respectfully), the Douchebag German (Benno Furmann), and the Monks Who Are Badass Regardless of Religious Affiliation (Ron Pearlman and Anna Walton). One major positive I can give to the film is the cinematography, which is all filtered to look very washed out, with the exception of the color red, which makes the blood splatters look more righteous and the monk's attire look more badass. All in all an acceptable tale, but not much you haven't experienced before.
Star Trek.
You've probably seen this, and already know that it is completely awesome. If you haven't seen it, it is completely awesome in every respect and you need to go see it immediately. Okay!
This American Life Live! Return to the Scene of the Crime.
This is the second of these live broadcast events that Ira Glass and the TAL crew have done, and needless to say this one was every bit as good at this first time. The format was a bit different, as the show was (mostly) broadcast as a radio episode as well. The acts were all good, and included a segment by my favorite TAL contributor (Starlee Kine) and a performance of "A Heart Broken" from Commentary! The Musical (musical commentary on the excellent Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog DVD) by Joss Whedon.
That's about all I have this time around, be prepared for more frequent and meaty updates soon.
The primary reason for my absence is that I did indeed decided to move to Gainesville, FL. I now reside in a home downtown with my lovely girlfriend! Moving had been a soul destroying experience in and of itself, though. We still don't have everything unpacked and set up. THERE IS SO MUCH STUFF. It went without a hitch though, all things considered. I drove the U-Haul here with great success and no collisions/property damage to speak of. The city is nice so far, the little bit of it I've been out and about in, and we're only two blocks from downtown, which is a good place to be when your feet are your primary mode of transportation. So in conclusion, the move went smoothly and I'm glad to be here.
I have however seen some movies and such recently I feel compelled to share my opinions on with you, the vast and unruly internet. GO!
Mutant Chronicles.
a independently produced sci-fi action romp, based on a tabletop roleplaying game, with Ron Pearlman in a lead role. This appeals to me on so many levels out of the gate, I figured it either had to be: enormously disappointing, or insanely amazing. (un?)Fortunately it was neither, but it was a fully satisfactory flick. The movie takes place in 2707, and the world is run by 4 corporations, who are all, unsurprisingly, at war with one another. During a firefight between two of these corporations a seal is broken over an alien machine that was centuries buried in the earth, thats single purpose was to convert dead and dying humans into human-killing mutant deviants. An order of monks is in place to protect humanity led by Brother Samuel (Ron Pearlman) who, according to the "Chronicles", has to assemble a small elite team to go into the pit where the machine is and destroy it. From here the movie takes fairly standard action movie queues through till the end, with the team itself comprised of a veritable who's who of racial movie stereotypes. We have (in no particular order): The Lone Wolf Anti-Hero (Thomas Jane, doing his best Bruce Willis impersonation), The Comic-Relief Latino (Luis Echegaray), The Heart of Gold Black Guy Who Also Dies First (Pras), The Badass Asians (Devon Aoki and Tom Wu, respectfully), the Douchebag German (Benno Furmann), and the Monks Who Are Badass Regardless of Religious Affiliation (Ron Pearlman and Anna Walton). One major positive I can give to the film is the cinematography, which is all filtered to look very washed out, with the exception of the color red, which makes the blood splatters look more righteous and the monk's attire look more badass. All in all an acceptable tale, but not much you haven't experienced before.
Star Trek.
You've probably seen this, and already know that it is completely awesome. If you haven't seen it, it is completely awesome in every respect and you need to go see it immediately. Okay!
This American Life Live! Return to the Scene of the Crime.
This is the second of these live broadcast events that Ira Glass and the TAL crew have done, and needless to say this one was every bit as good at this first time. The format was a bit different, as the show was (mostly) broadcast as a radio episode as well. The acts were all good, and included a segment by my favorite TAL contributor (Starlee Kine) and a performance of "A Heart Broken" from Commentary! The Musical (musical commentary on the excellent Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog DVD) by Joss Whedon.
That's about all I have this time around, be prepared for more frequent and meaty updates soon.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Decisions.
Do I move to Gainesville? DO I? I'm not sure, but I only have a few days to decide. I suppose this is the kind of thing that is supposed to be a big deal. A big corporation would call it a "Major Life Event", and probably let me change my benefit plans. It feels kind of insignificant, though. By that I simply mean that I'm not stressed out about it, though I am already strongly leaning in one way about it.
Today I've been extraordinarily tired. I do not like it.
-b.
Today I've been extraordinarily tired. I do not like it.
-b.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Things That Are Hard
BULLET LIST, ENGAGE!
-b.
- Getting the rest of this damn site up.
- Not eating junk food.
- Being too ADD to work on only one project, but too OCD to jump around between them.
- Going to my day job at 3:30pm and missing this beautiful day.
-b.
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